My Thoughts of MaotsuJun

So, this is a little late to the game I guess since the Friday article and subsequent Shukan Josei article came out weeks ago already - although there was the latest one about picking fish bones out of Jun's meal - BUT, I figured I might as well say something. To be honest I wasn't ever planning on saying anything until something really concrete came up, because what's the point? I mean yeah, I can fangirl and be all "OMG TOTES DATING GUYS!!" but at the same time those are tabloids and unless we get an official presscon and statement I'm not about to go open the wine bottles. Although Mao and Jun being just friends is totally cool too - if you couldn't tell from my previous post.

MaoJun randomness

I had this random thought about Mao's response to the Shukan Josei reporters about her getting married to Jun.

Her response is:  

Hahaha, if I say anything it will cause a ruckus so, I'm sorry, even after you came all this way.

Like. I can imagine the way Mao gave this reply and the thing is - what if Mao and Jun really are just friends and her thought process is something like "LOLWTF Me and Jun? Married? *dying*" and then she just texts Jun right after this happens and is like:

"Yo, some reporters just stalked me outside my place and asked me when I was going to marry you"

Jun's reply

"WTFLOL" and both of them just find it hilarious. 

OTP 1 - Royai

So this is where I've actually been spending most of my time while not playing video games - reading fanfiction. It all began when I decided to re-watch FMA: Brotherhood while studying for my finals because I needed something long and that I didn't need to pay attention too. I also re-read the manga just for kicks and I suddenly got overwhelmed by Royai feels and my overall love of Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang (they are just such a badass power couple) - and then after I moved on from that there was the whole thing with FFX/X-2 - Tidus x Yuna (although there is not a lot of good fic with them so that really didn't take up much of my time). Then - tumblr introduced me to Jelsa, which is Jack from RotG and Elsa from Frozen and ever since then I've just.. like. That's the end of the road - still waiting for this latest obsession to pass over but it seems like it might take a while because there's a lot of on-going fic happening that I'm dying to have finished.

So let's start with FMA


FMA Schpiel on Character Dynamics/Relations - Focus on Royai with some Ed, Al, and Team Mustang

Royai is my ultimate OTP - like hands down. It probably helps with the fact that Riza Hawkeye is my most favourite character of all time (sorry, Gin kind of got removed from that position - probably because he's been dead for so long). But Riza. Hawkeye. Like - can we just take a detour for a moment and talk about the sheer badass that she is? She doesn't know alchemy  and yet she owns everybody with just a freakin gun - like she actually manages to hold her own pretty damn well. Yeah - you can also bring in Olivier Armstrong as equally badass (if not more because I wouldn't argue with you on that point) - but I also like Riza's characterization more. She seems aloof and almost cold but she's not - maybe it's cause the story is from Ed/Al's POV (mostly) but Riza always gave me this motherly feel. She's firm with honest with the boys and you can tell they respect the hell out of her.

Everyone always goes on about Roy x Ed (which I find really fucking creepy to be honest but maybe it's cause I've always seen them as a more parental thing - Parental!Royai with Ed+Al is like.. dream fic - so good, but I'm digressing) but I feel like in reality Ed and Al feel a lot closer to Riza than they do Roy. Sure they respect Roy and he is probably the closest thing they  have had to a father figure (I feel Al is a bit more open about this than Ed would be) but with Riza I feel see both of them kind of just adoring her. She's honest, straightforward - Roy is as well but almost in a condescending way like "This is how the world is, I would've figured you guys would be used to it by now *smirk*" where as Riza stands beside him, rolls her eyes, gives the boys apologetic looks and is like "It's true but I'm sure you can handle it, you two have always been strong". And then Team Mustang is just a big group of big brothers to Ed and Al - like I see them having awesome relationships and pulling crazy dumb pranks with Havoc and Breda.

Actually I could write an entire post on what I think of Riza and Roy - because I have a lot to say on that but I'll summarize it in my next schpiel about why I love Royai and think they're the most amazing couple to ever be (they are canon damn it - they are).

Starting with my headcanon - I feel like they never really got together until after Ishval - even as friends. I feel like when they were younger Roy was always nice and courteous but Riza was too shy and quiet to interact with him much and Roy was just too busy. They weren't really friends though - they trust each other and I feel like they did share a few secrets and have a few talks but nothing close to what they have in FMA. I feel like that relationship didn't come about until Ishval and after. She didn't so much give Roy flame alchemy because he was an awesome friend and she trusted him - but more because he was the only one. It was the only way for her to let this go - to really do something with herself. She had this tattoo on her back, her dad died, and there was really no one else.

Then Ishval changed everything. She sees Roy destroying people. She herself is killing people one by one, purposely, knowingly, willingly - and it nearly breaks her. But then there is Roy again - idealistic, still shining with that goal of his he had told her way back by her fathers grave and she wants to believe. The thing is Roy was shattered too - when Roy was out there he snapped his fingers, thought about Riza, and wanted to kill himself from the guilt. Riza has always been his guilty conscience ever since she gave her back to him - up until this very moment. This role he gives to Riza never changes - but along with it forms a sense of trust, because he knows that Riza really will act as his conscience. It's not just a thought in his mind anymore, she's not just a voice in the back of his head - she is literally, physically standing behind his back telling him which way to step and how to move forward.

The thing I love about this relationship is how mutual it is. I remember someone saying they didn't like Royai because it would always bee a superior/subordinate relationship - no matter what he would be her colonel and her, his lieutenant but I feel that's not the case at all. Arakawa has shown many times that Riza doesn't give a fuck what Roy says and will disobey him if she has too. Just because they have a literal "rank" from their military jobs it doesn't mean either of them see their relationship that way. Riza just stays his lieutenant out of convenience - but Roy has never seen her as his subordinate. They are equals - completely and utterly - both on a work and emotional level. They both give each other a reason to move forward.

See - I don't see their relationship as "romantic" - I mean I enjoy reading fluffy fics about them and cute moments but I feel like their love is largely built on companionship and trust. I believe they'd had sex but it's far and in between. The first time was just based on need, a worried phonecall one night of "I can't sleep" and suddenly Roy is at her door and they're both kind of just lost and not really sure what's going on. It was consensual, they don't regret it, it didn't make anything awkward. Even now I feel like that's how it always works - you can say that's almost like having a 'friend with benefits' thing going on but I just think neither of them really believe that they should or could indulge in something so intimate - their hands are dirty, literally caked in blood - to have a normal "loving" relationship that you would see in romance novels, or movies. At least for now. The person in me that likes happy endings would like to think that after Roy becomes fuhrer they'll let themselves indulge in happiness and pleasure (and start a family). Until then though? Debatable.

With that being said I don't believe that they are dancing around each other awkwardly. I think they are both very aware of how they each feel for one another - and they don't need to say it. It's understood in the way they silently communicate, through actions, glances, and codes.

So there we go. 

This was just supposed to be a general post about Royai and Jelsa but I guess I'll move my Jelsa schpiel to another post coming soon. :)

More random Gin x Ran thougts to get off my chest

So I just started thinking in the shower (because that's where we all do our greatest thinking, don't lie!) and I know how I said in my previous post that in some ways Gin's death brings it's own sense of closure - and it does in the sense that she won't hold on to him because he's given her nothing to hold on to.

On the other hand his death is still super tragic for her and part of me wonders how long it took before someone was able to drag Rangiku away from Gin's body because I feel like she must've sat there for a very, very, very long time... until she had no more tears to cry, until she was exhausted, until Hitsugaya, or Hisagi, or someone had to literally pick her up and drag her screaming and the only way they could shut her up was to pretend to take Gin's body with them... except then they just dump it somewhere because I feel Captain-Commander Yamamoto wouldn't be so forgiving.

The thing is - Hisagi and Komamura get a very finite sense of closure because they realise that Tousen is completely deluded and bad. It's not that he became misguided and could be helped back on to the right path - he chose this path because he honestly thought it was right and although they had to struggle to over come this and accept this reality they could do it in the physical form of killing him. For Rangiku she gets none of this. What she gets is the realisation that one again, Gin has saved her and then the next moment he's dead. She doesn't know the details but the fact that Gin saved her is already enough because it's a redeeming factor. It's a fact that high lights the idea that Gin wasn't "that bad". That despite all this crap he still cared for her and for all you know she has come to the conclusion that it was possible that he died for her. She might not know the reason for how this happened - she might think it's because Aizen realised Gin had not killed her (and that would just be so heartbreaking for her to take) or she might take the easier route and just believe that Ichigo had cut him down and she wouldn't even bother asking for clarification because somewhere deep down she knows that couldn't have happened.

Honestly when I see that scene in anime, or re-read it in the manga (I don't purposely go out of my way to do it but it comes up as .gifs on tumblr often enough - seriously I'm not that masochistic) it breaks my heart to see the tears because he's left her with so many mysteries and for those first couple of days in mourning it must've been so hard on her. So hard for her to realise that Gin had saved her, had probably died for her, that even until the very end - despite what everyone else had thought, including Rangiku herself - Gin had prioritized her life as the most important thing to keep safe. And yes - in some ways this brings her closure because although she understands this, like I said, Gin hasn't actually given her anything concrete to confirm these thoughts so in the end she can just leave them as mysteries as she's always done and that's more helpful to her. Because I think if Rangiku did know everything, did know his motives, she really never would've left his side. She would've stayed by his dead body agonizing over the fact that he really did die for her and that would really just kill her inside. But she doesn't know that for sure and so she can keep going.

....ugh. I need to stop. These two are ruining my life and my ability to study for my mid-terms.

Once again, I'm begging Kubo to just bring Gin back to life for my own sanity.

Obligatory Gin x Ran feels post of the year

I started watching Bleach when I was twelve and like any little twelve year old I thought Hitsugaya Toushiro and his ice abilities was the coolest thing to ever hit the planet. Then we get to his fight with Ichimaru Gin and up until this point I thought he was amusing but... you know, that was it. Up until this point. And then we get the flashbacks, the fight and how coolly he takes everything.... and it was that day that I decided Ichimaru Gin is my most favourite character, period. As in throughout all series of anime or manga or books or movies, Gin is hands down my most favourite character ever.

Heir Series - Linda x Lee

Alright so another topic that's coming out of nowhere - again I started re-reading an old series from my... adolescence (I have fic that I wrote from 2007 so I'm guessing that's when I first read the books) and it's called The Heir Series written by Cinda Williams Chima. I'm not under the impression that is is a particularly famous series compared to some other child fantasy stories but I must admit - after re-reading it that it definitely is a favourite of mine. Although I'm mostly judging this by the fact that this series has virtually no fanfic - but this might be just because the general population that reads this series is way too young to write fic. Which makes me sad and desperate so I'm going to do some flailing and what-not here.